I’m sure many of us have seen the fabulous looking Gym Shark models on Instagram and felt envious (I am guilty of this!). I have recently got back into working out in the gym after a loooong time of not exercising much at all and quite frankly feeling like an unhealthy blob. I look to my left and I see a very attractive athletic woman.. Knocks my confidence a little but I carry on with my glute bridges… Then I look to my right and I see yet another very attractive athletic looking woman… Bloody hell I’m in Gym Shark infested waters! *cue Jaws music*… Now, I wouldn’t consider myself to have rock bottom confidence like I used to, but this was quite daunting and I instantly felt self-conscious in a BAD way. I fully appreciate that these ladies most likely got those bodies by working out and eating well so fair play to them 💪 however it is easy to feel jealous and bad about your own body when you see someone else looking ‘better than you’. The aim of this story is to point out that the more we focus on what other people have, what they’re doing, what they’ve achieved etc… the less we focus on our own actions, achievements and we even start to doubt our ability to get to where we want to be.
We can all get triggered by seeing someone else having what we want or living the life that we want to have. If we look at this a little deeper it’s usually because we either:
- Don’t truly believe that we can have or achieve it ourselves.
- Believe that we COULD have it or achieve it but we aren’t taking steps towards it and we feel bad or lazy about that.
Our subconscious mind has essentially written a story about ‘who we are’, ‘what we are supposed to do’ and more importantly what we can or ‘cannot’ do based on the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us. For example, let’s say there are 2 women of the same age, same health status, same sort of lifestyle and schedules and the same starting point…. Why is it that one of them pushes harder and is determined to get to her fitness goals and the other just doesn’t seem to have the get up and go? It all boils down to the beliefs we have about ourselves and the internal dialogue we run on a regular basis.
Filters, angles, lighting and showing ‘the best bits’ don’t help of course! But I’ll be ranting about that in another blog 😉
Learning to be honest about how you TRULY feel about yourself, what you want and your ability to get it is an important part of healing and getting the life you want. A simple way to do this is to perform a visualisation of what you want to achieve e.g. being fitter and eating healthier. I have outlined the process for beginning to access your inner guidance below:
- Find yourself a space where you won’t be disturbed and put on some calming music if it helps. I find that headphones are excellent for blocking out the world around you.
- Close your eyes and take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Making sound whilst exhaling such as an audible sigh can really help loosen tension.
- Begin to drop down into your body and notice any sensations that are present such as tightness, uneasiness, openness, lightness etc..
- Breathe into these and allow any unwanted sensation to move out of the body as much as possible. Imagine them moving down and out through the soles of your feet.
- Once you feel you have calmed your mind and body as much as possible, begin to bring to mind what you want to achieve.
- As you begin to think about this, notice the thoughts, beliefs and inner self talk you have going on. Is it inspiring and uplifting or is it self-defeating?
- What emotions are you experiencing while you have these thoughts? How do they feel in your body?
- Observe these feelings, thoughts and sensations without judgement. Give yourself compassion regardless of what comes up.
- How can you begin to transform these thoughts and feelings into something more beneficial for you?
- When you’re ready, slowly start to move your hands and feet. Become more aware of the surface you are resting on and gently open your eyes to bring you back to the world around you .
- Journalling on what came up for you can be helpful after this, particularly if you do it regularly to see what has changed for you.
This process of accessing our inner world and gradually changing it is a practise that takes time. Sitting with ourselves can feel uncomfortable and ‘boring’ sometimes but the results are worth it. Just spending 10-15 minutes a day in meditation or self-reflection can be hugely beneficial.
Let me know in the comments what comes up for you in this practise and how you feel about your aspirations generally!
Sending you all love 💓
-Lisa
x